I love to set intentions for new times… a new year, a trip, a new decade, even a new week. I think there is something about having a plan for the time frame in front of me that gives me a sense of order. My heart longs to be a free spirit who just goes with the flow and takes the road wherever it leads, but my mind needs structure and this has brought me struggle on more than one occasion.
January 1st, 2018 I set my goals for the year. I carefully curated my list to include things that were a little ambiguous so I wasn’t totally tied to them. I chose things I was excited to accomplish and relatively simple based on my life at that moment. For example, I said I would do a painting a day. For 365 days. Sounds totally realistic, right?? Yeah… well come the last day of 2018 I can tell you that most of what was on my simple list was left behind somewhere in about February of that year.
Fast forward to 2019. I was intentional about goals… or well, intentional about not setting them in any strict written out way. My only goal was to try and live a more simple and intentional life. Life was so busy. January was so busy. February seemed even busier. I talk ALL THE TIME about simplyfing and slowing down yet somehow I chart the course that leads me in the opposite direction. I couldn’t tell you why I liked to self sabatoge my goal of leading a slower paced life, but it seems I was pretty good at it.
As 2019 seemed to fly from winter to spring and spring to summer, I realized why “simplifying” in the normal sense never seemed to fit the way I thought. It was because I was looking at it all wrong. I am a tinker-er. I am always looking at what needs done next. I’m looking for a new project, doing laundry, painting, driving kids to appointments or tweaking the website.
I am often busy by choice… and that is okay too.
I enjoy a little bit of chaos, and I love to be working on something. For me, that is “living my best life” and how I practice “self care”.
That said, the moments of tinkering or the moments of working on new projects can still be simple and intentional, as much as physically slowing down to enjoy a pool day with the kids. As long as I am making it a priority to live and love in those moments and enjoy and engage mindfully in the the business of life as much as I do the slow moments… then my busy days are not failing a simple life, they are part of it. The moments may be happening at rapid pace some days, but if the moments are intentional then I haven’t failed. My summer may not be “slow” in the traditional sense that I was expecting… but the moments are still simplified to be meaningful and intentional.
So, Cheers to other mamas out there failing (or not) at a slow summer!
