In a podcast, Rachel Hollis said, “When women tell me they have anxiety my first question is “who are you trying to please?”
This resonated SO strongly today… The simple fact is we have so much emotion on our plates right now… concerns, worries, struggles, and we are trying to please all the people. We are trying to tell our parents to stay home because we worry about them, yet we’re trying to do it in a way that doesn’t seem disrespectful or pushy. We are homeschooling our kids which for some of us is uncharted territory (thank goodness for our kid’s school making this so much easier!). We are trying to keep up with our day to day jobs, lives, and expectations when our minds are floating elsewhere. We are trying to maintain a sense of normalcy for our families. We want to protect them in every way while at the same time trying to teach them about social responsibility and social consciousness. Holy moly… We are trying to please all of the people in this moment of time where that feels a little impossible. So anxiety is no surprise, right?
But the thing my friends, and this is key, we cannot for a second forget about ourselves. I have many times used the example of the airplane oxygen mask when talking about parenting. You have to put the mask on yourself first to be able to administer the needs of others. This is not selfish. This is smart for you and those you care for. As a wife, mother, daughter (and all of the other roles many of us have) we have the blessing of having people in our lives to care for, to raise into good people, to have conversations and laughs with, and to help in times of need. That said, we have to get our minds right so that we can do this the right way, with a heart filled with love and not anxiety. I have yelled at my kids more this week than I’m proud of and it’s not been their fault. Please don’t misunderstand… they get fussed at plenty for things that are 100% their fault, but this week it’s been my anxiety doing the yelling and the fussing and they themselves are in the thick of a whole new world just like the rest of us.
So, listening to the podcast this morning I realized my anxiety is due to trying to do all of the right things, but more because I forgot to put on my oxygen mask on first. I forgot to take a breath. We all have our own oxygen mask and NOW IS THE TIME to get yours out. For some of you, your oxygen mask is reading a devotional in the morning up with a nice cup of coffee. For some of you that oxygen mask looks like a brisk walk (maybe around your house… =)). For some of you (RAISING MY HAND!!!), the oxygen mask looks like drawing or painting… and for others it’s cooking or singing in the shower, or maybe even a virtual / FaceTime cocktail hour with a friend from your porch… honestly, it’s different for all of us but you’ve got to put it on, mamas. You have to find your mask and pull the cord. Get a breath in and then help put those masks on everyone else. We can do this <3
Yes, we are teaching our kids that even mom’s must take care of ourselves first. This is a big learning lesson to teach and it like a clown with spinning plates walking on a high tight wire.
Thank you, Kori, for posting this. It helps one find perspective in this crazy time.