Balance {and lack thereof}

I don’t know about you, but here in my home we are constantly looking for balance, and constantly redefining the meaning of it.

For the last few years, I have handled “work – life balance” with the motto…”Do what needs done – when it needs done – period.” You can see that from this post almost two years ago. While my to-do list was always completed, it usually meant I was frantically dashing from an email to fill up a juice cup, back to a design, over to a diaper change, throw laundry in the washer, check my phone, and back to the original email. In the end…it all was complete, but chaos was there every step of the way. Even when the little ones were at preschool I found myself multitasking just as much. I would start an email, which led me to a design I needed to revise at which time I would see a notification on my phone that someone had mentioned me on twitter or commented on FB…then off to social media to respond, then back to the email I was working on to find that 3 more emails had come in, one especially intriguing so I would hop over to read it and respond before coming back to the original one started 30 minutes before. Do you see where this is going? I made EVERY SINGLE THING in my life top priority so that I felt each thing needed immediate response.

I am driven, emotional, and passionate. I want to not only succeed at everything I do, I want to excel. I do not want to look back on my life and wish I had done more. I want every moment to feel like it’s meaningful. Whether you are a stay at home parent, work at home mom, or work for a company you adore…when you love what you do, it’s hard to “shut it off”. My husband has suggested many times that I “check emails only twice a day” to which I would laugh (still do) at how ridiculous that sounded….after all I normally check email every 10 minutes….sometimes more. He has also noted how much time I spend with my phone in hand…to which I usually denied.

When my four year old mentioned how often I work…I decided to try something radical…ok, not radical really…but radical for me and through it I have found a new and much happier balance. I decided to become truly present in each and every task, and to define my focus and stay on track… I would have have told you weeks ago that I was truly present already, but I wasn’t.

I put down the phone/ipad/ipod/laptop – This is the biggest one.  On my phone I can check email, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Etsy. Technology is what drives my business and  keeps me in touch with collueges and clients, and it is amazing…but there is a time and place for everything! It started when I decided that I needed to commit time to my kids every day without any of the technology I normal keep at fingers reach. When I began stepping away from the computer and putting the phone away (so I don’t even see those notifications popping up on the screen) something amazing happened…. in only 3 hours, I played board games with the kids, worked on letters with my daughter, prepped and cooked dinner with the kids help, made lunch for the next day, we all worked on getting the house picked up…and we never considered turning on the TV. I honestly had no idea how much time those innocent glances on the phone or computer sucked my time….and no, seeing an email the SECOND it came in has yet to be more important than the little ones. Ever.

I set NO WORK hours – People always suggest setting work hours for working from home businesses, and that’s just not practical when you live and breathe your job. It’s just not. I love to work at 11 am and I love to work at 11pm. Inspiration hits at any time of the day, not just between 9-5. I am in and out all day which can take me me away from work, so I need to make up for that time at other times, so “office hours” don’t work for me. What I can do, however, is set NO WORKING hours. After seeing what happened by simply putting down the phone, I decided to set a block of time everyday that I didn’t do any work. At all. Think about it, when I say I will not work for a few hours a day….and to have those hours SET, I feel the clock ticking to get other things done! This also means that when I sit down to work, the other “house” things are done so I can focus on work! My NO WORKING time is before, during, and after dinner. For me, this works best, since I do work every night after the kids go to bed…and I do work every day while they are at preschool. When I step away from work for a few hours (with out any TVs on) I can accomplish quite a bit more than I ever knew!!  {PS the first two days I was panicked the whole time that by the time I started working again at 8pm my inbox would be full and I wouldn’t ever go to bed…but instead, I was able to focus on the tasks at hand and work more efficiently}

I began to FOCUS on my end Goals – Do you know how many things we all do every day that are “fluff”? We do things because other people are doing them, because we think it’s what we are supposed to do, or because it seems fun? When I stepped back and I looked at my business goals, I realized I was doing a lot of things that weren’t really in line with my business plan. I was doing things that my peers or other bloggers were doing, but they weren’t things that were moving me in the direction I wanted to be going. These are things that were fun, but they weren’t in line with my goals, and took time away from my family. Those things need to be cut {at least until I have a ton of free time}. {This also requires having a good “goal” in mind for your life, business, and family.}

It’s OK to say NO. I wish I could take every order, every custom design, every graphic job that comes my way, but knowing my business goal helps me keep a clear head about which projects will help me reach that goal, and which may just be fluff. I have also learned to book only a certain number of custom orders a month…then take that number down two…and that’s realistically what I can handle. I subtract two, as I know ahead that I will have a few opportunities each month that will help me reach business goal and I have to leave room for them.

I turned off the TV except a few special times – This is to ensure that the time I spend working is actually spent working, and the time I spend with the kids is quality time. We still like to cuddle on the couch and watch a show at night as a family…but it’s no longer background noise.

Lists – I have always made lists…I love lists, and I love crossing things off. This isn’t new. I have just revised the way I cross things off – one at a time. I don’t start on one thing, then check email or hop on Facebook. I start and finish each item before I do anything else!

Someone commented on Facebook today that F {family} comes before W {work} in the alphabet for a reason…and I think she hit the nail on the head. No matter your situation, I suggest you just give it a chance to get away from the social media, phones, emails, and computers for a bit of time each day and live fully in the present, with the people who are looking you in the eye. Like these little guys….

{Courtney Vickers Photography}

And the truth – I have had several people comment that they have noticed me being “quiet” on the social media sites, which is a little hard for me to hear….but at the same time I have also had my daughter tell me that she loves my “NO WORK” hours and I hear her talk about all of the things we do during that time. I completely understand that what works for me will not work for everyone. I know that I have a flexible schedule, and not everyone does, but I do think that many of the ideas can be used for people in many different situations.